Oh, Feelings.
Feelings are so finicky. Have you ever felt yourself wearing down and you begin to neglect your quiet time or your evening walk or your morning prayer time because there's just so much to do and you've run out of energy? Next thing you know you're losing your cool in traffic or exploding on a friend or loved one because they can't read minds and didn't know to watch their step in the mine field that has become you? Have you ever let that happen? Because I have. And it stinks.
I can recall with perfect clarity the first time I let it happen and was consciously aware I was doing it. I was treating someone I loved with contempt and gruffness that they certainly did not deserve. I could feel myself doing it, I watched myself do it, and I thought the whole time "Emily, what are you doing?" I knew immediately that it was misdirected and I felt terrible.
Emotions can be so strong. Mine often overwhelm me. This is something we diligently attempt to guide in the preschool world. Big emotions can eclipse little minds and cause biting, hitting, or tantrums. Those little bodies simply don't know how to process big emotions yet. But even as adults many of us still haven't gotten the hang of it. It's hard.
We spend so much time worrying about diets, vitamins, and clean living these days--all good things. But Jesus said in Matthew 15:11 "it's not what goes into your mouth that defiles you; you are defiled by the words that come out of your mouth." It is important to note that what goes in is what comes out. You can't put in bad and pour out good. I enjoy donuts and Chinese takeout every now and then, but I try to be ever so careful about what I watch on television, the movies I attend, the company I keep, and the books I read. I've found over the years that these impact my mental and emotional well being more drastically than any poor food choice and I am rendered incapable of pouring out good if I have immersed my mind and senses in junk.
I made it my mission to monitor my heart status and really better manage its outpouring after that first incident. I never wanted to feel that way, or make others feel that way, again. (I have also been on the receiving end of many of these outpourings and it really does feel as awful as I feared it might). I have not been entirely successful, I will be the first to admit. I had to learn to say no, even when that goes against every fiber of my naturally people-pleasing being. I had to force myself to rest, to let go of things outside my control. I had to ask for help when I found I wasn't entirely able to manage it all on my own. I have made strides, but I can guarantee I will not get there in this lifetime. And that's okay.
Layla Palmer, of The Lettered Cottage blog and @letteredcottage Instagram fame, is someone I have truly come to admire and be inspired by on this particular journey. She writes an interior design blog, yes, but in her Insta stories she shares her authentic struggle with social anxiety and simply doing things afraid. Feelings are not the boss of her. They are not allowed to be the boss of me. I find myself taking comfort now in the fact that I was able to do something, even if it didn't feel good and I need a good dose of quiet time to decompress afterward. I consider it a victory because I accomplished the task afraid. Fear doesn't own me.
This week I have officially set my Etsy shop to vacation mode and we are headed out of town for a long anticipated break. I am looking forward to fresh air, sunshine, and a total lack of structure to my days. I hope your Summer is off to a great start and you have some fun and relaxing down time planned to keep those feelings in check.
Best,
Emily
I can recall with perfect clarity the first time I let it happen and was consciously aware I was doing it. I was treating someone I loved with contempt and gruffness that they certainly did not deserve. I could feel myself doing it, I watched myself do it, and I thought the whole time "Emily, what are you doing?" I knew immediately that it was misdirected and I felt terrible.
Emotions can be so strong. Mine often overwhelm me. This is something we diligently attempt to guide in the preschool world. Big emotions can eclipse little minds and cause biting, hitting, or tantrums. Those little bodies simply don't know how to process big emotions yet. But even as adults many of us still haven't gotten the hang of it. It's hard.
We spend so much time worrying about diets, vitamins, and clean living these days--all good things. But Jesus said in Matthew 15:11 "it's not what goes into your mouth that defiles you; you are defiled by the words that come out of your mouth." It is important to note that what goes in is what comes out. You can't put in bad and pour out good. I enjoy donuts and Chinese takeout every now and then, but I try to be ever so careful about what I watch on television, the movies I attend, the company I keep, and the books I read. I've found over the years that these impact my mental and emotional well being more drastically than any poor food choice and I am rendered incapable of pouring out good if I have immersed my mind and senses in junk.
I made it my mission to monitor my heart status and really better manage its outpouring after that first incident. I never wanted to feel that way, or make others feel that way, again. (I have also been on the receiving end of many of these outpourings and it really does feel as awful as I feared it might). I have not been entirely successful, I will be the first to admit. I had to learn to say no, even when that goes against every fiber of my naturally people-pleasing being. I had to force myself to rest, to let go of things outside my control. I had to ask for help when I found I wasn't entirely able to manage it all on my own. I have made strides, but I can guarantee I will not get there in this lifetime. And that's okay.
Layla Palmer, of The Lettered Cottage blog and @letteredcottage Instagram fame, is someone I have truly come to admire and be inspired by on this particular journey. She writes an interior design blog, yes, but in her Insta stories she shares her authentic struggle with social anxiety and simply doing things afraid. Feelings are not the boss of her. They are not allowed to be the boss of me. I find myself taking comfort now in the fact that I was able to do something, even if it didn't feel good and I need a good dose of quiet time to decompress afterward. I consider it a victory because I accomplished the task afraid. Fear doesn't own me.
This week I have officially set my Etsy shop to vacation mode and we are headed out of town for a long anticipated break. I am looking forward to fresh air, sunshine, and a total lack of structure to my days. I hope your Summer is off to a great start and you have some fun and relaxing down time planned to keep those feelings in check.
Best,
Emily
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