JoaS

I shared in this post last year that my "resolution" for each new year looks more like just one word, sort of like picking an area of my life that could use improvement or identifying something I find lacking and attempting to better incorporate that in my daily life throughout the year. For 2020, I have landed on the word "focus." Ironically, it wasn't very clear to me this year what my word was supposed to be, so it's taken me a while to organize my thoughts and write this post. Since Maggie has entered our lives, I have felt more scattered than ever before. It's been wonderful and my artsy brain secretly loves the lack of structure, but I find myself constantly wasting precious time, overly relying on my phone, unable to tackle the seemingly endless to do list that exists solely in my head. I have found myself going through periods of pretty intense anxiety and wariness and then returning to a sort of calm, with no real idea of what caused or e...

I have been receiving lessons in humility lately. I guess to be a "sanctuary"--pure and holy, tried and true--it stands to reason you'd have to be humble, too. When we first found out we were having a baby girl, my reaction was soft, gushy, heart melting--followed immediately by the realization that I am so flawed and so young and so unwise and inexperienced--how in the world can I do this well?? A girl is going to have to overcome so many of the trials and hardships with which I was faced, and I didn't handle them all well! I had to fight the fear. I started praying. I had to immerse myself in truth to shut out the (horribly loud) lies. I reached out to a mom I follow on social media (the one millennial activity I do well) and I asked for any tips she could give a first time mom. Her response, delivered with such tenderness and sincerity, was that God has hand chosen me to mother this little one here on earth. He seems to think I'm the best suited for this pa...

Not to be a downer or anything, but bad things happen. If you're reading this, I assume you're an adult with a computer who reads blogs and articles about real life, so chances are good you already know this tidbit. You may even understand it better than I do, myself. I grew up in a very loving home, with a nice family, a great dog, I got along with my brother, and I saw all the Disney movies. I have wonderful memories of fun family vacations. I had plenty of friends and I always did well in school. I didn't have to try hard and I thought I was very fortunate. Un fortunately, you don't get a lot of opportunity to develop a mature character when you don't have to try hard, right? Smooth seas and whatnot. I feel like I was catapulted straight from adolescence into adulthood. I had a great college experience and my parents were terribly supportive and I was comfortable. Then I got engaged. I talked about moving to a different state, to a big city. I had to find...