What They Don't Tell You

Not to be a downer or anything, but bad things happen. If you're reading this, I assume you're an adult with a computer who reads blogs and articles about real life, so chances are good you already know this tidbit. You may even understand it better than I do, myself.

I grew up in a very loving home, with a nice family, a great dog, I got along with my brother, and I saw all the Disney movies. I have wonderful memories of fun family vacations. I had plenty of friends and I always did well in school. I didn't have to try hard and I thought I was very fortunate. Unfortunately, you don't get a lot of opportunity to develop a mature character when you don't have to try hard, right? Smooth seas and whatnot.

I feel like I was catapulted straight from adolescence into adulthood. I had a great college experience and my parents were terribly supportive and I was comfortable. Then I got engaged. I talked about moving to a different state, to a big city. I had to find a career, or, at the very least, a job that would provide enough to sustain shelter and food (not to be too dramatic) and I quickly found life is not like all those movies I'd seen. People aren't always happy to hear your big plans. They don't always agree. They may voice their disapproval. It may be loud. You may not get that dream job. That job might not really be a dream. You have to learn about things like low income and tight budgets, and phrases like "lean years" or "tighten the belt" become natural jargon. It can be a shock. It can feel unfair.

However! Don't feel too discouraged--this is all leading up to the development of your great character, remember. Each and every one of these "set backs" is an opportunity. I know that sounds really "self-help-y" and cheesy, but seriously. If I hadn't faced any opposition, I might not have realized how bad I wanted it. I might not have had the opportunity to dig down deep and root through all those messy emotions and realize just how passionate I was or how certain I was that this was God's path for me. Your greatest weapon (in my humble opinion) in these difficult, convoluted times is quiet. I would say I thought I had an informed, adult faith until this point. Then I became child-like. Crying out to my Heavenly Father for the direction I so desperately needed through all the chaos and noise. And, would you believe, He answered every. single. time.

When I couldn't have answers, He provided peace. When I thought I'd lost friends, he provided wiser ones. One of the best pieces of advice I received during my senior year of college--engaged, unemployed, stressed over final exams and a thesis, facing opposition, and endlessly comparing my path to the paths of others who seemed to be receiving all the support and kindness I so desperately craved--was this: your trial is now, theirs simply hasn't come yet. (Also, that comparison is the thief of joy, so you can just quit that mess.)

Just like that, my mind settled. I was learning how to handle hardship and navigate murky waters early on, which has turned out to be a real blessing and an invaluable skill . And sure enough, those same "lucky" friends have had their own individual hardships and life lessons. Some come out bitter, others come out stronger. It's not like in the movies. It's not always sunny, real people can't hang out in coffee shops 16 hours a day, and there are no granite counter tops in the affordable apartments. What it can be, though, is good for your soul. Good for your growth. Good for your character.

John 10:10 says, "the thief's purpose is to steal and kill and destroy. My purpose is to give them a rich and satisfying life." The bad guy knows your weaknesses. The bad guy comes to steal your joy, to kill your dreams, to destroy your happiness. That's simply life in a broken world. It's less flirty dresses that float gracefully around your knees when the wind blows and more the embarrassing story in the back of Seventeen Magazine about the girl who wore the wrong days of the week underwear and unwittingly flashed it to everyone when a heartless gush of wind threw her skirt in her face. But you'll be okay. Be still. Use that quiet. Choose to come out wiser, not hardened.


Best,
Emily